Family Law Services

Mediation is an out-of-court process that focuses on handling family matters head-on without the need for invasive and time-consuming interactions with the courthouse. In the most effective mediations, the parties can work together – if not collaboratively, at least cooperatively – to address their issues with the neutral mediator whose job is to facilitate the conversation and provide whatever guidance the parties may want or need to get the problems resolved. Mediation can be done with both parties represented by counsel, or the parties can represent themselves. In either case, the goal is the same – resolution of the issues without the need for expensive and often unproductive litigation. Mediation is confidential, which means that nothing said about the positions the parties take in the mediation can ever be used in court (if court ever becomes necessary). Mediation is far less expensive than traditional court litigation, and the power remains in the hands of the parties rather than in the hands of the stranger in the black robe who generally knows little or nothing about the parties or their dynamics.

Arbitration is an underutilized option for clients who want a private and efficient resolution to their divorce and parenting disputes. As a Certified Arbitrator, NEIL helps parties collaborate toward a faster finish without using the court system or filing a lawsuit in most cases. With guidance, parties settle their issues and receive an Arbitration Award. Certain matters and situations are not suitable for arbitration, and will be recommended for a different approach. The Award is sent to the court for confirmation and enforcement as needed. Arbitration can be as stripped down or as complex as the participants desire. Unlike traditional litigation that may last months to years in court, arbitration yields a quicker, more amicable result. And unlike a Private Judge, the Arbitrator may use “game rules” set by the parties, outside the Family Code confines, if so desired. NEIL has arbitrated dozens of divorces since the pandemic began, side-stepping the courtroom backlog and system delays.

With judicial approval, couples can opt out of public family court by agreeing to the use of a Private Judge. Cases can proceed like regular trials with evidence and witnesses, testimony, and cross-examination. The lawyers (or the parties if neither is represented) predetermine a mutual set of rules and procedures, maintaining rights to appeal as needed. Disputants benefit from expedited resolution and a Judge who knows California’s Family Code inside and out. When the financial stakes are high, the Private Judging route can bring more certainty to an otherwise unpredictable courtroom environment. As an AAML Fellow and Certified Family Law Specialist, NEIL brings the highest levels of professionalism and legal acumen to his role as a Private Judge in California.

As your Consulting Attorney, NEIL surveys the legal landscape of a family law problem and provides strategic guidance. Even if you do not end up needing to hire a lawyer, a legal “reality check” can decrease stress and empower your early engagement in the process. And a second opinion on advice or guidance you’ve received will add clarity and reason for individuals and their lawyers. NEIL’s style of non-linear thinking on high-conflict or complex property cases can be illuminating for entrenched litigants. Whether you’re in mediation, preparing for trial, or representing yourself in a messy divorce filing, an outsider’s perspective brings peace of mind.

Litigation can be deeply unpleasant — for the client, for the judge and for the attorneys, too. But sometimes it’s the only option. As a litigation concierge, NEIL takes on special cases that demand a cool-headed, highly-skilled technician and sophisticated litigation approach on a single issue or limited set of concerns. NEIL can formulate and execute on a targeted strategy to handle thorny issues as expeditiously as possible. And potentially assist in moving the entire case closer (sometimes much closer) to resolution as a result.

Understanding what it means for you and your partner to say those magic words in front of family and friends is of critical importance. And not just the parts about your interpersonal relationships and communication — but also about the financial and legal consequences of marriage. The California Family Code is the only real “prenuptial agreement” most marrying couples get, and that’s only because the rules it contains are the default rules when couples don’t agree to a different approach. Knowing what different approaches are available before tying the knot can be a valuable gift to each other. Where a couple does decide that the default rules are just not for them, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements can encourage open and candid conversations about the legal contracts, financial obligations, parenting commitments, and lifestyle choices we make in marriage, remarriage and blended family events. NEIL counsels couples about the realities and ramifications of California’s default prenup — the one written by (mostly white/male) legislators. Why accept someone else’s rules for life partnership when you can co-create a better plan B in the event of divorce or separation.      

As president and pro bono counsel for a dog rescue nonprofit, NEIL has seen his share of pet-related family disputes. Dog adoption contracts at NorCal Boxer Rescue now include a clause designating the pup as “community property” between spouses or registered domestic partners. A petnup can be a helpful tool in the event of divorce. It outlines pet ownership rights and responsibilities, among other financial and care-related agreements. For cohabitating and unmarried parties, a similar contract can minimize tensions absent an easy well-defined legal process for dividing assets. Our legal system has become increasingly pet-friendly in family law matters. In California, newer legislation mandates a “best interests of the pet” standard to guide the judge in property division conflicts. And certain pets receive special protection afforded by domestic violence restraining orders. When pet custody and visitation issues become emotional sticking points in a divorce, arbitration and private judging solutions can help to keep costs controlled in situations that might otherwise explode in a courtroom setting.